6 Guidelines for choosing Reception Dance Music
Weddings generally host a wide variety of people. Many different age groups come together, and the DJ and/or Band must play music that will be appealing to all, or most, for most of the evening.
DJs are very good at this (that’s why we do what we do); however, we often have clients who want varying levels of input into the musical selection for the evening. I always encourage this, because it adds a level of personalization that a DJ can’t provide just playing off-the-cuff. That said, unless the client is a DJ themselves, too much control over the playlist can be a very bad thing.
If you do want to have some input on some, or all, of your playlist, here are some suggestions:
- Pick songs people can dance to: Hey, I love 90′s alternative. Pearl Jam’s “Alive” is a great track. Unfortunately, it isn’t what you would call “danceable.” Stick to stuff with a steady, fun beat, and people will be more likely to dance.
- Pick songs people will dance to: For the most part, your guests will tend to dance to very popular tracks. True, you may have a group of friends who will dance to O.A.R.’s “Crazy Game of Poker,” but if you’re playing relatively obscure tracks all night that most of your guests don’t know, they won’t dance. People generally dance to what they know.
- Make a “Do Not Play” list: There are some DJs who will default to certain songs unless told otherwise. These songs include popular line/group dances (ie, the Chicken/Duck dance, electric slide, Y.M.C.A…. by the way, all of these songs are on my own personal Do Not Play list, unless the client specifically OKs them), as well as certain popular songs like “Celebration”, “We Are Family”, and “Love Shack.” All of these are popular at weddings, and they are also at the top of many “Do not play” lists. It helps the DJ a great deal to know what you really don’t want to hear.

- Give the DJ some leeway: If you’ve picked a quality DJ, then he will know what works, and how to maintain a good flow throughout the evening while incorporating your requests into his mix. If you have a very rigid playlist or genre requirements, the DJ is kind of boxed in to your choices, and if those choices aren’t working, you’ve given him no outs.
- Don’t slow it down too much: Slow songs are going to get played, and people will definitely dance to them, but there is such a thing as slowing it down too much. I generally play about 5 slow songs per reception, sometimes maybe another 1 or 2, depending on the mood and age of the crowd. Remember, it’s nice to have a sweet, romantic slow dance, but if you overdo it, you will kill the energy of the dance floor.
- Know your priorities: Not all people are looking for a lot of dancing at their reception. I once played a reception where my clients specifically said that I can play traditional wedding dance music for 1 hour, but after that they wanted punk rock for the rest of the night, regardless of what anyone else asked for. No requests (other than punk) were to be taken. They knew no one would dance, but dancing was not their priority. I obliged. People were very angry with me (the FOG actually threatened my life, though I didn’t take it all that seriously), but I made them aware that this was the agenda planned by my clients. My clients were extremely pleased with me, and thanked me profusely. The point is that you need to decide if you want people to dance or not. You also need to realize that just because you would dance to a song, that doesn’t mean everyone else will do so. If dancing is a priority, consider playing some of the more obscure stuff during
dinner or cocktail hour. If not, Indie it up.
The point of a personalized play list is to make the reception your own, not a cookie cutter program that you’ve heard at every wedding you’ve ever attended. If you have a DJ you trust, then work with him (or her) to figure out what kind of mood you want. If your DJ is good, they should have 5 songs to play to match each 1 song you request.
If you design a play list that you want the DJ to stick to rigidly, just understand that you are taking on the responsibility of entertaining your guests. While the DJ should try to play it in an order that makes sense, ultimately you have decided on the course of music, so be sure that you are going to be happy with it, no matter what.
Special thanks to Mirage Photo for the above images!









When I got up at 7:00AM on Sunday morning, I will admit that I was not too excited to host Fran and Bill’s Wedding reception that evening. I worked late Saturday night, as I had done Friday as well, and by the time Sunday morning came along, when I had to get up after very little sleep and help set up for a Bridal Show that morning, I was hating life. The only reason I say that is to demonstrate the contrast between how I felt then and how I felt later that night.


